This is a personal blog but I'm also

here for advice, inspiration, and education so feel free to message me.

I’ll be in Maryland until Monday so I won’t be online at all over the weekend.

I’m on a little bit now before I leave for work but that’s it. I’ll be back Monday afternoon/night. I’ll respond to anything in my inbox then.

(Source: recoveryisbeautiful)

My life would be so much better right now if plane tickets were cheaper…

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I’m already over today… I’ve been over today for the last hour and a half.

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Dan left.

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I’m struggling beyond belief already, I don’t need my period causing extreme discomfort and pain on top of everything else right now.

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It’s amazing sometimes the things people are proud of you for.

For example: not taking shots after trying on a pair of jeans that now fit tighter from being washed recently…

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my mouth is still KILLING me

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Jun 15, 2014 / 225 notes / reblog

I’m quitting chapstick.

(Source: recoveryisbeautiful)

Totally put several “Where’s Waldo” books on my amazon wishlist…

Anonymous asked:
Do you have different triggers for each of your disorders and behaviors or do they share all of the same ones? Can you give some examples?

Well, I guess different things trigger different things for me.

Suicidal Thoughts: trains, antifreeze, car accidents, hearing about other people committing suicide

Eating Disorder: certain stores (usually clothing ones and places like 7-11), people sleeping late, mirrors, heating about other peoples diets/calories/weight loss, knowing other peoples clothing sizes, old clothing that’s now too small for me, seeing bodies that I would prefer over my own, really pretty girls

Self Injury: eating “too much”, feeling extremely negative about my body, occasionally seeing someone with an injury (like a cut or scratch), occasionally getting bloodwork done 

My bipolar disorder is triggered by all of those things, by if/how I act on any behaviors (giving in to one behavior may trigger another which may lead to either depression or mania), it’s triggered by eating choices (also unrelated to eating disorder behaviors), sleep patterns, caffinee/alcohol, stress, ect… this list goes on and on… it’s basically like… just everything.

But yeah… these are just off the top of my head.

I hate when there’s some kind of positive post on here and it seems like everyone loves it and is inspired by it and then I’m just sitting here triggered as fuck -_-

(Source: recoveryisbeautiful)

I gave Dan my blade this morning… then I started crying and hyperventilating and told him I wanted it back… but I gave it to him.

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May 2, 2014 / 57 notes / reblog